“Grief and pain are like joy and peace; they are not things we should try to snatch from each other. They’re sacred. They are part of each person’s journey.” Glennon Doyle, Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed
Glennon Doyle on Helping Loved Ones with Their Grief and Loss
Grief and loss are central to how I conceptualize folks. It’s the counselor and practitioner in me. Most obstacles, hurt, and anger can be traced to grief and loss. And we have to elaborate on loss, beyond the things that are easy to point to (death and loss of tangible things). There’s also loss of innocence, loss of what you planned.
For us autism parents, there is the loss of what you dreamed for your child after you receive diagnoses. It is certainly like a death. There are milestones my children might never reach. There are milestones they will reach at a later age than most. Autism parents are entitled to their loss in addition to their joy when their kids finally do that thing. First words, first steps toward independence, first connections.
Glennon Doyle gave me the words and the freedom to understand my autism parent pain. We are in a unique club after all. She helped me to understand what I was feeling, and to know that when the pain comes back that’s ok too. Be gentle on yourself. Because there is a universality to traumatic pain, grief, and loss. And ours is valid and worthy of the place it takes in our hearts.
I encourage you to read up on Glennon’s work as it is so PERTINENT and UNIVERSAL to me. Her Instagram is my access to her lessons, advocacy, and Morning Meetings. I haven’t even read her books yet but I wager they’re bangin.
Warm fuzzies from your Mama Tine